i cant seem to get over it, and maybe i never will.
i miss my friend Ashton, i cant help but compare him to every guy i meet and no one can ever compare to him... he was such a sweet guy, it never crossed my mind the last time that i saw him, that it would be the last time we hung out, the last time i would see him, the last time i would hear his voice... i had a dream about him yesterday, every time i think about it makes me want to cry because it all feels so real when I'm dreaming. i hear him, i see him, i talk to him. It makes me almost forget hes gone, i always hate when i wake up because reality hits me and i realize that it was only a dream... i call his old phone when i cant fall asleep at night to hear his voice, it makes me feel better like hes there and I'm going to see him the next day. i miss my friend so so much. the truth though is that I'm scared that I'm going to start forgetting... of course I'm never going to forget him but I'm starting to forget how he smelled and stuff like that, it breaks my heart because i hope he doesn't forget me... ugh i don't know what to do. i know i wont ever be the same, i just have to deal with him being gone... but to tell you the truth i don't think i will ever fully accept that hes gone, because he cant be... like he said so himself hes superman he can do anything...
- i miss my friend
-
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1)
jemedeteste09- January 7th, 2010
gloomy
- (no subject)
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- jemedeteste09
- December 13th, 2009
- crushed
i cant believe it...
Ashton Taylor Cummings
1992 ~ 2009
Ashton Taylor Cummings, 17, passed away on December 10, 2009 in Murray, Utah.
Ashton was born at home on April 7, 1992 in Murray, Utah to Marc Vance Cummings and Lisa Dawn Evenson.
Ashton loved skateboarding, playing the guitar, drawing, animals, electronics and the Japanese culture.
Survived by his mother, Lisa Cummings (Jim); father, Vance Cummings (Tammy); sister, Brianna (James) Venditti; sister, Kaylee Fulton; sister, Amy Fulton; brother, Bryson Fulton; grandfather, Leroy Evenson; grandmother, Linda (David) Smekens; niece, Allison Venditti.
Preceded in death by his grandfather; Clair Vance Cummings; granny, Carolee Evenson.
i cant believe hes gone....
- (no subject)
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- jemedeteste09
- December 13th, 2009
i cant belive it
- ughhh
-
- jemedeteste09
- October 13th, 2009
grumpy
ive let my self go this week
i just thought i was getting too much into this and just kina wanted to be normal and eat again
so i did
and i hate it
i gained like 7 pounds
(could that even be possible)
i hate myself i look like a whale
i was soo close to my goal weight and now ive gotten so far behind
i hate myself
i hate myself
i hate myself
i need to start fasting again
i NEED to be 102
no more excuses
IT WILL HAPPEN
ughhhhh :(
- (no subject)
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- jemedeteste09
- October 8th, 2009
ughh i hate myself. i was doin soo good:(
tomorrow im going to fast for sure
i cant believe myself..
- (no subject)
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- jemedeteste09
- October 4th, 2009
the weekend is almost over and i havent done any homework
i havent really eaten much, and i dont really ever get the urge to eat
that may sound like a good thing but idk anymore
i wish i didnt have to do this, i wish i had a super fast metabolism
but who says beauty isnt pain?
i havent lost any weight this weekend because i got really wasted theese past couple of
days, ughh why does it have to be soo many calories.
ughh im so lost
- (no subject)
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- jemedeteste09
- October 2nd, 2009
today is going great(:
didnt eat at all yesterday and wieghed myself this morning im 108(:
it was just last friday i was 117
i went to a party last night and got really wasted i was gone
haha i dont even remember what happened
tomorrow should be great(:
going out and about with some friends
almost to my goal wieght 102
soo close(: hmm i still feel pretty fat though when i get to 102
ill see if im satisfied
- (no subject)
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- jemedeteste09
- September 30th, 2009
currently 111 lbs. ive been fasting for a couple days now
but my parents took me out to dinner so i had to eat
ughh i got home and gained 2 pounds
ha but everythings fine cause i just purged everything and now
im back to 111
UEA break starting tomorrow no school thursday and friday(:
woop woop
im soo excited
god i love loosing weight people notice you
and a lot more guys start flirting with you(:
- (no subject)
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- jemedeteste09
- September 26th, 2009
hello hello
this weekend has been great!!
i didnt eat anything yester day and i weighed myself this morning!
and 113! horray like 4 lbs horray for fasting:D
i feel great(:
oh and i met a cute boy on friday
hmm i think im kinda over kevin now i dont need him
hes an asshole anyways well im doing great hope everyone
else is doing great too(:
<3 AMYY
- sickk
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- jemedeteste09
- September 23rd, 2009
sick
today was an okay day
school lame as usual
ugh i have a date tomorrow totally not looking forward to it (he wants to take me to dinner)
hmm i have no idea what to do hmm crap
maybe we will just skip dinner and go to a movie
i have a stuffy nose wich sucks i hate being sick
i have too much homework to do tonight
remind me why i took an ap class?
im hoping i get to hangout with kevin friday he is just the coolest person i know
ooo i got some aplications today from:
icing
aeropostale
justice
journeys kids
pacsun and
american eagle
i need a job sooo bad i need money
text buddy anyone?
<3 amyy
